The Modern Syllabus: A Cautionary Verse

SUMMARY

The author offers a satiric verse about the growing utilitarianism in education.

In his novel Hard Times, Charles Dickens satirizes a utilitarian approach to education, an approach that seems to be gaining ground again. His schoolmaster, Mr Gradgrind, is not evil so much as single-minded and has become synonymous with those who seek only the facts.

Recently, I've noticed another educational trend that disturbs me: governmental misuse of the argument for high standards by maximizing control over the way teachers teach the curriculum and minimizing their ability to create and share  resources. Put this together with other issues and it's a wonder I sleep at night.

I am coping by writing satire. Share it if you like it.

The Modern Syllabus

Ten Rules from A Senior Education Official

The best way to ensure reform

In education? Here’s the norm:

Stop our kids from being fools

And simply teacher-proof our schools.

To implement the Newest Learning

It does no good to be discerning.

No teacher needs to over reach,

For students learn what teachers teach. 

We need a modern syllabus;

New back-to-basics and no fuss.

I’ve taken time to write it out.

Ten simple rules to leave no doubt:

1. Seek high achievement for each one, 

    At lowest cost to everyone.

2. Underfund all but the Core. 

    Who needs music anymore? 

3. Shout equal opportunity, 

    But never let the kids run free.

4. Don’t let teachers (it’s so dumb)

    Write their own curriculum.

5. Apply the standards — no hesitation.

    (No standards without standardization).

6. Stick to facts and raise the scores. 

    Assess, assess, assess some more.

7. Keep teaching methods, resources too, 

   Down to a controllable few.

   

8.Use technology when you’re able, 

   But bolt it firmly to a table.

9. Keep subjects separate. Be ever wary

    Of those who are interdisciplinary. 

10. Make sure librarians are passé; 

    They’re far less dangerous that way.

So as you start on your profession

Go forwards to a new regression.

I got where I am today

Because I found the simpler way.

It all comes down to this in essence:

Spoon feed schools to indolence. 

No doubt, no mess, no obfuscation.

For basic, modern education!